you got me....im sick and im lazy

The word lazy has always been a big deal in communities of chronic and terminal illness. to these communities its a word thrown around by people who have no understanding of the illnesses that we deal with on a daily basis. Im not just speaking about those effected by cystic fibrosis here, but people suffering from any chronic or terminal illness. theres a generalization that were young, or we look healthy, so we must be just fine. That we dont work or go to school because were simply using our diagnosis to get out of being a contributing member of society and we just want to lounge around day to day watching television and using the governments money to buy our way through life.

we fight the term lazy and make grand statuses and announcements about all the hard work we do to just make it from one day to the next, we feel the need to defend ourselves from the misunderstandings and the negative comments aimed our way, from people who two minutes prior to shooting us down posted some meme about how naps and pizza are life. 

well here it goes. im sick, i dont work and i get aid from the government and sometimes, i am extremely lazy. 

let the backlash begin. 

im saying this because its true, sick or not sick we all think the napping netflixing and loving tacos memes are all about us. people can work a 40 hour week and on saturday and sunday do you think theyre the epitomy of community service and all things good?? no. they hang out with friends, catch up on that show they love, toss a few back and relax. yet we feel the need to constantly be reminding everyone how hard we work every single day and we are never ever lazy!!! 

stop. just stop. 

you dont need to prove anything to anyone. your allowed to wake up one day feeling perfectly fine, your illness isnt making you feel ill at all and all you want to do is binge the whole season of "stranger things"(no seriously you should its a great show) and eat your way through any and all things delicious in your house and you should, you should do it and you should not have to explain one goddamn word of it to anybody for any reason. 

the need to explain what we do and why we do it has in a way taken over some of our lives. We feel guilty or we feel like were worthless for not being able to contribute, the struggle is too real sometimes. i hope you know you matter, to the people who love you you matter. to people who know you you matter. to people online in these communities you matter. and all of them know your doing the very best that you can. let go of the need for the approval of some idiot who thinks you can do better (keep in mind they cant be too happy themselves if they need to tear you down to make themselves feel better....) and just know your doing the best you can. and while you dont go to a traditional job you work your butt off everyday. so sometimes, yeah, you deserve to eat a tube of pringles with a stuffed crust pizza on the side and not move for a stupid amount of time. you earned it.