CF Hitting Me Hard This Holiday...

water tower place, 4 years ago

Well this year is quite different from any other years and its the first year I wont be spending the holidays with David in 5 years! I started going with him and his family before we were married and its gonna be weird not to do the stuff we used to every year, decorating and seeing the lights and everything, and also, its also recently occurred to me that there is a possibility that this may be the last holiday season i spend with my family and friends.....

Thats a sad thought, i know, but the way my health is declining its not so crazy to say that, transplant is in my near future and theres a possibility that either i dont get one in time or it doesnt go as planned and i dont make it, obviously my hopes are high and im staying positive however im a very realistic person and i really want to make the most out of this year just in case. Ive always felt so great that i never even thought about not having another holiday, ive never just woken up and wondered if ill be waking up again this time next year.  Im so so so so so happy that ive been invited to my brother in laws families house for thanksgiving cause i was awfully close to spending the day alone :( That wouldve been terrible, and im excited to spend the extra time with my sister and niece! Shes also invited me to stay over Christmas Eve so im there on Christmas morning too and i cant wait!

Im sure everything will be okay (Allies overly positive attitude is starting to wear off on me) but just in case..im really excited for the last few holidays this year. Im going to make the absolute most out of them! Starting with Black Weds! Thankful for my best friends Al and Mish for helping me go all out with a room at the Hard Rock Hotel downtown and a Wrigleyville bar crawl!! so excited!

oooooh i love those girls <3