since ive started to blog on here ive gotten some very inspiring messages, and i want everyone to know that while you write to me and tell me how i have changed your perspective and your views and given you a new insight into life you have done the same for me. its a strange mix of emotions to hear that my life has impacted the lives of not just the ones i love but also people all around the world. ive gotten messages from near and far and its humbling to say the least.
i always prided myself on my ability to keep a positive attitude for the most part and ive always been able to find the silver linings in my situations. i know that while things may be incredibly difficult at times that there is always a part of the situation that brings light into an otherwise dark time. whether it be the friends or family who are by my side or the fact that i am receiving some of the best medical care my country can provide for me there is always something thats good.
i feel like lately ive been losing sight of this good as my health declines more and more. i find myself sad and i feel cheated that as my illness takes over more of my body it also takes more of not only my life but the lives of the people around me who care about me. They dont mind taking care of me because they love me, im not a burden to them in any way but it is draining and worry some and i dont like to be the cause of that.
i dont want to let down you, my readers, when i begin to lose hope and so i havent been posting as much as id like to. i dont want my blog to be paragraph after paragraph of upsetting news and worry some thoughts. i dont want to let you down. dont get me wrong i still see so much good in my life and in this world im determined to fight and live the best life i can for as long as i can but im in a little rut right now and struggling to find the strength i used to have in such abundance.
id like to take a little bit of time off from my regular blog to try a new technique i was taught today galled gratitude journaling. its where you take some time at the end of your day to reflect on it and find 3 to 5 things that you are grateful for that day. it might be hard some days but im confident that ill be able to do it and im hoping it can help me refind the things in my life that i really have going for me. I need reminders of why im fighting so hard to get new lungs and i need a small mental break. writing has always been a great outlet for me and i plan to continue soon. Thank you all for reading and please stay tubed to my facebook page and instagram listed on the right side of the page in my about me section to keep up to date if you so choose!!
ill be back babys mama needs a little break, a little eat pray love deal. stay classy.
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